I only can hear what I can't see and see what I can't feel.

You know, if I wasn't in the mood to write, I would have summed up my entry by telling you to listen to Carrie Underwood - So Small.  I couldn't have explained it any better.  I learned a valuable lesson during this short week.  If all else fails be the bigger person.  It is truly amazing watching someone face so much scrutiny and adversity and yet not fall.  He stood tall and proud of who he is and what he represented.  Nothing said or done to him will tarnish what he has already accomplished.  I never understood that concept before.  My perspective was always push back when being pushed.  But my father always seem to enlighten me with simple concepts that transpires into life lessons.  (If you are thinking that it was my father that was taking the adversity it's not him.)   This should explain better.

"It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big at the time
It's like a river that's so wide it swallows you whole
While you're sitting around thinking about what you can't change
And worrying about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count cause you can't get it back " (Verse 2 of So Small)

It is hard to change old habits but this lesson WILL be reflected upon if similar problems are aggregated.  Remember, you only reflect what you criticize.

Twenty three, twenty four.  It's been twenty four years of my life.  All this time I thought life was grand and easy.  The same phrase always occurs in my head when an obstacle occurs.  "Don't worry, you'll get it next time".  If you just read that phrase, there is nothing wrong with it.  It's always good to keep a positive attitude towards anything you do.  The problem is derived from the lack of action that is taken to support that phrase.  I always tell myself how I possess an array of talents but when reality hits, these skills I possess aren't up to par with what is needed to survive in this world.  I realized this when I recently took an online IQ test (just for the heck of wasting time) and scored an average.  The recap from the test suggested I am best at "General Knowledge" and I should use my strongest skill to my advantage.  What made this statement come to a screeching hault was when I was shown a book on how to deal with the toughest interviews.  I read a paragraph that stated (not properly quoted)  it's not good to tell a interviewer that you are good at everything because it tells them you are just not good at anything.  In other words, you are a bull shitter.  I don't doubt I have a skill (people skill), if used properly, that would open many oppertunites to my future.  But what I lack is a skill that can balance the equation together.  I lack being an expert in one particular area.  Don't get me wrong, I am not in any form degrading people whom has learned a variety of knowledge but (speaking from my own experiences) after being shown the verity of life, you just can't cut it with knowing a little of everything.  You have to capitalize on what you want and then make it better. 

It took twenty four years to figure this out.  Everytime you think you have something tackled you come into another realization of something else.  I just hope this motivation holds up. 

And now, the "do" part.  Just have to do it.      

Have you ever had a moment in your life where you are just doing your usual routine and you decide to play a song.  No other reason to it.  The song had no significant value to it, there were no attactments to it.  It was just a regular song.  And as you were listening to the song, to your surprise, you begin to reminisce about your past.  The good times, the bad times and the ones that always stick out more than the others.  Those are the ones that has changed who you were and made a huge impact in your life.  But to go another step further, there is always that one memory that you will always remember no matter what happens in your life.  That is the moment in your life when time literally stood still.  Everything could pass by you but you only can see that moment.  There are only two reasons why that moment made time stand still for you.  It was either the most unbelievable moment you have encountered in your life or it was the most unbelievable moment you have encountered in your life.